Monday, February 18, 2013

Ten Every Day Items To Add A Little BDSM Spice to Your Relationship by Roni Loren + Giveaway (US/CA)

We're total fan girls when it comes to Roni Loren and her Loving on the Edge series. It's always fun to host her because she's always got something new each time she visits. She's a total repeat offender and we lurve it! This post she is sharing is going to rock your socks and other articles of clothing off!!


Meet Roni:

Roni wrote her first romance novel at age fifteen when she discovered writing about boys was way easier than actually talking to them. Since then, her flirting skills haven’t improved, but she likes to think her storytelling ability has. Though she’ll forever be a New Orleans girl at heart, she now lives in Dallas with her husband and son.

If she’s not working on her latest sexy story, you can find her reading, watching reality television, or indulging in her unhealthy addiction to rockstars, er, rock concerts. Yeah, that's it. She is the National Bestselling Author of The Loving on the Edge series from Berkley Heat.

Connect with Roni: Author Site | Facebook | Twitter

So one of the fun things about writing BDSM erotic romance is that it gives me the opportunity to have characters get creative in (and out of) the bedroom. There is, of course, “official” type equipment used specifically for kinky purposes--spanking benches, St. Andrew’s crosses, bondage beds, etc. And then there are tools to use--floggers, riding crops, clamps, the list is endless. You name it, it’s probably available.

And I do use a lot of these in my books because there are scenes that take place at a BDSM resort called The Ranch, which is stocked with any equipment a Dom could want. However, I don’t like having everything take place at a “club”. I write about couples who are developing an intimate relationship--and let’s face it, most of the time, any sexy times are going to be at home or away from cabinets of equipment.

So what to do?

Here are some suggestions for using every day objects to spice things up. : )
  1. A Hand - Okay, so it’s not technically a piece of equipment, but really, it’s the tool that is always available and can be effective in so many ways. Spanking, pinching, caressing. A hand can both punish and pleasure. And if you’re just getting started, it’s the least intimidating way to start.
  2. Neckties - This one comes with a warning. A necktie can make a great blindfold and can be used to tie hands or ankles. However, if tied too tight or where the knot tightens when pulled on, ties can bind too snugly and cut off circulation. So proceed with caution. And never leave a bound person alone.
  3. Wooden spoon/spatula - There are a number of kitchen tools that can easily be used to give a swat. Of course, if you decide to go there, I suggest retiring that tool from the kitchen permanently after that, lol. Wooden and plastic can both work but beware of anything with metal. And check that there are no exposed screws or anything--that could turn into a hit that is not so sexy.
  4. Hairbrush - Sensation play can be fun even for those who aren’t interested in any BDSM. Depending on the bristles, a hairbrush can provide a nice stimulating glide over the skin, getting all those nerves awake and making the skin more tingly and sensitive. You can also use back scratchers or even guitar picks (the ones that you can slide onto your fingertip.)
  5. Ice Cubes - Can be used directly against the skin or placed in the mouth before certain activities to change the sensation. You can also go in the opposite direction and drink a warm beverage right before.
  6. Dessert - I like using food scenes in my books--caramel sauce, chocolate syrup, things that can be licked off, whatever. This is messy so have an extra sheet. And the key is using food only on the outside of the body. Got it? No one wants to have to explain THAT infection to their doctor. 
  7. Music/Headphones - I’m amazed at how many people miss out on the opportunity to set the right mood. Music doesn’t just have to be romantic; it can add spice. If you’re experimenting with power exchange, let whoever is in charge choose the music. And headphones/earbuds can be an amazing addition because hello, sensory deprivation. A blindfold, headphones with the right music, and getting tied to the bed while your honey does his/her worst to you? Fun times for all. ; )
  8. Shoelaces - Don’t have a flogger? You can knot a couple of shoe laces together to make one. Just be sure to check in with your partner on how it feels. Those little plastic ends can sting, so make sure your honey is on board. And obviously, this doesn’t replace a real flogger, but it’s good in a pinch. If you decide you want to do this regularly with your partner, invest in a good flogger and learn how to use it correctly.
  9. Candle wax - This is a bit more advanced and needs to be done with care. Candle wax spilled onto the skin can be very erotic, particularly if your partner enjoys a little bit of pain with their pleasure. However, don’t do it before doing your research. And don’t just use any old candle you have around. Parrafin is usually suggested because it has a lower burning temperature. You can get some basic safety tips here. But third degree burns are not sexy, so don’t do this until you’ve read up on safety and tested the wax on yourself. (And, of course, making sure your partner is on board.)
  10. Clothespins - Don’t have clamps? Try a regular old clothespin. Just check in with your partner and don’t leave them on too long. Know that when the clamps come off is when it will hurt the worst because the blood flows back into the area. So you may want to time that removal when your partner is very turned on and has endorphins pumping to offset some of that sting.
And most open mind, good attitude, and consent on all sides - If you’re new to this, don’t expect everything to work just how you want it the first time. Go into it with an open mind and a good attitude, and both you and your partner will have fun regardless.

*And just my PSA, even if you’re just doing mild play, it’s always a good idea to have a safeword with your partner, especially if you don’t know how they are going to respond to something like pain.

So that’s all I’ve got for you today. Go forth and have fun!

Loving on the Edge #3
Genre: Erotic Contemporary
Length: 336 pages
Publisher: Berkley (December 31, 2012)

He’ll do anything for you. But you’d better say please.

When tomboy sports reporter Charli Beaumonde loses a dream TV job because she’s not girly enough for primetime, she’s determined to land a big scoop and prove her boss made a mistake. But when she gets too close to a football scandal and finds her life threatened, Charli accepts an offer from family friend Grant Waters to hide out at his place—even if Grant predicts nothing but trouble from his buddy’s hard-headed, uncompromising, irrepressible, younger sister. There’s one more problem…

Grant’s “place” is The Ranch, a BDSM resort in Texas, and he’s used to being in charge —even if that means trying to keep Charli in line. But much to Grant’s surprise, she’s intrigued—even envious—of his trainees. They’re the epitome of what she’s never been: sexy, beguiling, and totally irresistible to a man. Still, Grant doesn’t believe for a minute that the sharp-tongued Charli has it in her to be anyone’s submissive. But Charli’s already on her knees vying for the chance to prove that even the Master can be wrong sometimes.
Get Your Own Copy: Amazon | Kindle | B&N | nookKobo | iBooks | Book Depository
Book Extras: Read an Excerpt
Other Books in Series:

Kati has a copy of the book from the review tour so she is offering one(1) copy to a US/CA reader. The beauty of Roni's books are they can be read as stand-alone or as a series. Here's how to enter:
  • Leave a comment for Roni with suggestions as to other every day items that can be used to spice up your relationship, your favorite romances with a little kink (or a lot--we won't judge) or ask her a question.
  • Fill out the rafflecopter form below. You must leave a comment. All other entries are optional.
Thanks to Roni for letting us adopt this post!!
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