WELCOME TO THE BLOG MARQUITA!!!
Meet Marquita:
Marquita Valentine writes small town romances that are anything but small. Lisa Kleypas, Carly Phillips and Rachel Gibson are among her favorite contemporary authors. Marquita met her husband aka Hot Builder at Sonic when they were in high school. She suggests this location to all of her single friends in search of a good man -- and if that doesn't work, they can console themselves with cheesy tater tots. She lives in North Carolina in a very, very small town with Hot Builder and their two children. Connect with Marquita:
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Not Another Bad Pick-Up Line
We all have had it happen (and if you haven’t, please email me with the name and location of the bar) at some time or another. Some aren’t that bad. While others make you want to drop to your knees and scream at the sky: Why me?There are websites devoted to pick-up lines, like http://linesthataregood.com/ , complete with categories. And yes there’s even a Beavis and Butthead category.
Perhaps the saddest thing of all is that even after you find the one, the one can still blurt out eye-twitching lines. Some of my Twitter friends shared these gems with me:
Let’s pretend your pants are France and invade them.
Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only ten I see.
Are your legs tired? Cause you’ve been running through my dreams all night.
Got any (insert nationality) in you? Want some?
Makes you feel all warm inside, doesn’t it? What girl wouldn’t drop everything to get with that? ;)
Not even the heroine of my debut novel, Twice Tempted, is spared from bad pick-up lines from the hero.
“Whatever makes you feel all manly inside.” She gave him a toothy smile and his blood turned to lava.
“I’d like to have my manly parts inside of you.” That did not just come out of his mouth.
But does Christian stop with his cheesy pick-up lines? Oh no.
He hit the button with his elbow and moved to the opposite side of the elevator to lean against the mirrored wall. “You smell delicious, Zoe. Good enough to eat and I haven’t had any dessert… yet.”
Guess the whole talking to her like she was a real person, with goals other than hooking up with him was over.
Swoony worthy, right? Don’t worry, Zoe calls him out on every single line and when he finally stops relying on them…as George Takei says: Oh myyy! But it does make me wonder if women of Historical Times had to put up with lines like we modern women do? Actually they did. Oh Romeo, say it isn’t so!
"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 1.5
On second thought, I’d let him use that line on me.
So, what’s your favorite no good, really horrible pick-up line that you ever heard?
###
TWICE TEMPTED:
Genre: ContemporaryGet Your Own Copy: Kindle | Nook | iBooks | Kobo | Smashwords
Length: 265 pages
Publisher: Marquita Valentine (July 8, 2012)
Sometimes…
Born into wealth and power, Christian Romanov is Hollywood’s favorite bad boy with a golden touch…until the day his agent receives pictures of the movie star celebrating his birthday in a not-so-legal way. Now he’s been ordered to find a small-town girl to be seen with in order to improve his partying image. He agrees, but for an entirely different reason-to protect the reputation of an organization that helps get teen off the street and back into the school. Not only is he the anonymous donor that's been solely supporting the organization since its inception, he's slated to be their newest spokesman.
What happens in Vegas,
Zoe Ambrose is a hopeless romantic masquerading as a realist. But she’s also a successful novelist, trying to fit herself into a staid life when what she craves is the adventure she found one night in the arms of a playboy who never knew her name. When her successful crime series is optioned by a major studio, she travels to Las Vegas to find that the prince of her fantasies and single night of pleasure is the main contender for the male lead. But for four years Zoe has been publicly eviscerating the man who left her stranded that night—he’s the villain in her series! Now the movie star doesn't recognize her, and Zoe is determined to protect her heart this time.
Doesn’t Stay in Vegas.
When Christian braves the small town of Holland Springs and Zoe’s overprotective family to win the girl of his dreams, he finds that his Hollywood skills might not cut it—and learns a shocking truth he never imagined. Can he tempt her again and finally give her the epic love story she has refused to write for herself?
Other Book in Series:
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Have you read 50 shades? Cause I would love to tie you up! I was like really? Are your kidding? It made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteAre you serious, Lisa?! *bites lip* Holy Cow! ;p I guess it was inevitable, no?
DeleteHi Marquita! I don't have a line, I just wanted to say hi and I loved Twice Tempted! It was such a fun read, with 2 likable characters. I was wondering when your next book is due out? I'm looking forward to it! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Steph! Thank you so much! I am so, so happy you loved Twice Tempted! :D My next book, Third Time's a Charm will be out in September (hopefully the first of the month).
DeleteHere's a link to my website, so you can see the cover and back blurb for TTaC: http://marquitavalentine.blogspot.com/p/third-times-charm-book-2.html
I had some sleazy guy interrupt a 50 Shades discussion with a girlfriend recently. He looked at us and said, "Did you read the book? You should read it. You should DEFINITELY read it. I read it. I think I could do that. I think you could do that."
ReplyDeleteI went home and showered.
Heard this one recently and laughed because it was so cute: "Is your name Google? 'Cause you got everything I been searching for!"
All kinds of EWWWWWWW, Patty! Did he think that y'all would be like, oh yes, take us home, hot stuff?
DeleteNow that is cute! What does it say about me that I actually LOVE that line? ;)
I was at a cast party for a show once (I was the costume designer) and one of the (drunk) actors stumbled up to me and said "Hey doll. You look like my sister. Wanna dance?" I said "Dude. You don't even play on my team." He said "True that." And then stumbled away. LOL!
ReplyDeleteLOL!Ah, drunken pick-up lines...what would we do without them? ;)
DeletePS I think he's playing on The Flowers in the Attic Team, ljsimcox. :}
I always get hit on at casinos (another good reason to not go) last time some guy came up and said "My name is (I think I blocked his name on purpose), you should know it for when your screaming it later" icky!
ReplyDeleteBe still my heart. Right, Carin? Only thing I *do* wonder is if we give a pass or maybe a little leeway if the guy is exceptionally good-looking? Maybe a three strikes and you're out kind of deal. ;)
DeleteThanks for a fun post! I've had this book on my "want" list for a while now :)
ReplyDeleteummm... I haven't heard this one personally but it was actually used on a friend "heaven must be sad cuz they're missing one of their angels"
Thanks, Erin. :)
DeleteWell, at least that pick-up line is more cheesey than creepy. ;)
I wanted to thank Jamie and Kati for hosting me!I had a blast writing about really bad pick-up lines. :D Hugs!
ReplyDelete"Girl, you got great gams." It took me a minute to understand what he just said. I said thanks and then no thanks.
ReplyDeleteDid you ask him if he wanted to do the Lindy, Jen? I had a guy tell me (in NYC, no less) that I had sexy knees. Uh, thanks?
DeleteLol, great guestpost, now I want to read the book!
ReplyDeleteMy favourite: did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
Thanks, Aurian. I hope you do get to read Twice Tempted. :) You know, I'm starting to think that there should be a website that has comeback lines for chatup lines. ;p
DeleteI can translate some from Dutch, if you pardon the bad English for the translation.
ReplyDeleteM: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
F: Yes, and that is why I don't go there anymore
M: Is this seat taken (free in Dutch)?
F: No, and if you take it, this seat is free as well.
M: I would love to call you, what is your number?
F: It is in the phonebook
M: Your place or mine?
F: Both, you to yours, and me to mine.
M: And how dou like your eggs in the morning?
F: Unfertilized!
M: I do like your haircolor
F: Thanks, second isle at (name store)
M: I know what women want
F: Why don't you leave me alone then?
M: you are the woman of my dreams
F: Go back to sleep then
M: If I could see you naked, I would die happy
F: Yes, but if I was to see you naked, I would die laughing
M: I want to share everything with you!
F: Fine, let's start with your bankaccount
M: I would walk to the ends of the earth for you!
F: And would you stay there?
M: How does it feel to be the most beautiful woman on earth?
F: How does it feel to be the biggest slimeball on the earth?
M: Nice dress, it would look better on the floor next to my bed
F: Then you should buy one, and throw it there
M: I want to offer myself to you
F: Sorry, I can't accept cheap presents
M: Where have you been all my life?
F: Looking at your face, I wasn't born during the first half of it!
M: What do I have to give you to kiss you?
F: Chloroform
The rest is too rude to translate ;)
Hope you had a smile or two :)
Those are HILARIOUS, Aurian! Thank you so much for translating and sharing. I giggled and giggled while reading in carpool line this afternoon. :D
Delete